Back to Work

So, it was my first day back to work in 8 weeks!! Yes...my maternity leave came to a close. I dropped little man off at the in-laws and of course I got really weepy upon leaving. I know he is safe and sound there and its not like I am leaving him with strangers which is a total blessing and I am very grateful that my in-laws are able and capable to watch him....I was just a little sad because this 8 weeks had flown by and this time out with him had come to an end. I am however thankful that I'm just going back part-time. It would of killed me to be away from him longer than 25 hours a week. I just cant believe this 8 weeks is over. He was here with me for 9 months in my womb....then 8 weeks  in the world and now we have to be separated a few hours a day. Yea its only 5 hours a day....but still he is so young. I feel like in a way we just got to know each other and build this bond. I didn't want our 24/7 time to end...or at least I wasn't ready for it to end so abruptly and quickly.

But, I know this is only the beginning of being away from him. Eventually he will go on to pre-school, then Kindergarten, then college, and one day into the arms of his wife and his own family. Ahhhh....I pray time doesn't go too fast so I can enjoy him. I  think one can never know how powerful time can be until you have a baby....or at  least I didn't. You realize a moment is worth the world...that minutes are precious...that hours are definitely blessing...and a day is truly a gift.

Lately, the thought of being a stay at home mom has infiltrated my thought process. I never thought being a stay at home mom was something I would of wanted to do....never. But, now its all I want to do. Stay home...raise John, take care of Nick and our home. Is that too much to ask? But, now a days it seems like that's not even the norm or financially an ability for most couples. Nick and I have seriously cut back so much...and honestly we have financially sat down and tried to cut areas that we possibly could and still it wasn't possible for me to be a full time stay at home mom...at least on paper it did not make sense at all. We would be severely under each month. Oh...but the Lord knows the desires of my heart. I am earnestly praying that He opens up other doors of opportunities for Nick job wise to where financially that could be an option for me. I know He will provide....and I know He will work this out for us...its the patience part that gets me every time.

So while I'm waiting, praying and anticipating...I know it will get better! Transitionally it will take some time and a bit of an adjustment to get back into the swing of things. I usually adapt and over come situations pretty well...I guess I get that from the military. I know I will look back on this down the road and say "boy...that was a piece of cake!" But, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes is hard...when it seems like your riding through a foggy tunnel. hehe. I can't  wait however to see what all God has in store for us through all of this! What an adventure...and I'm ready for it...stay at home mom or not...working mom or not. As long as I have Nick, the Lord and my little man...life is good.