Season of change...

In the last few months I have noticed a huge change in myself and a shift in my priorities. Although it had me utterly confused for a split second...I have  since then, with Gods help and a little help from an old wise woman, realized that my priorities, feelings, dreams, goals and passions are in fact shifting...which is totally normal since I  am in full preparation for motherhood....

So when I first started having these feelings around the second trimester I thought something was wrong with me. I found myself constantly thinking...am I losing my passion and drive? What's going on with me? Oh where art thou my desires for the things I once thought so highly of? I had a long discussion with an ole wise woman who told me, "it's totally normal honey...it's just your body and mind preparing for motherhood dear, not to worry". I use to have these big, huge dreams for myself....these career goals that I wanted to obtain and these great, over the top things I wanted to do in ministry for the Lord. Now, these days, I am finding myself so content and at peace with just being the best wife and mother in the world and letting that be my first and foremost ministry. I told Nick a couple weeks ago, "I think I would actually be extremely content the rest of my life being a career waitress and just serving my family." Before, that didn't seem all that too successful to me. It is so funny to me now, and I feel so foolish at how superficial and ignorant I acted and thought. Not to down play any woman/mother/wife that has a huge corporate career and or involved in a huge ministry and holds down a family...cause that is absolutely astounding and I admire those that do, but for this season of life that I am in now I just earnestly desire to focus on being a awesome wife to Nick and a beautiful mother to John and serving the Lord by serving them first. 

I truly think, let me back up a min, I truly know....the ministry of wife hood and motherhood is one that is powerful and oh so important. We as women should never neglect that calling, especially those in my generation of woman. Society now a days seems to frown upon the women that are not working outside the home and being a career driven individual. Growing up in my grandmother's generation being a stay at home mom, or part-time stay at home mom was ideal, and society frowned upon those women that weren't ole "Suzy home-maker" per say. Now, I am not saying that every mother should be a stay at home mom because you have to do what you have to do for your family to provide if situations and finances call for it, but keeping our families, as mothers and wives, at the center and keeping Christ first is so heavily important in today's world.

You know...I use to think I had to be the next Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer to be effective in ministry or be something great for the Lord or to even be a success in life. But, I've now come to realize that Christ receives great joy when He sees His children serving in order, in love, with great joy and a willinging spirit. I once heard someone say "how can we serve others in ministry or do missions when our first mission (husband and wives, children) in our homes are neglected...it just doesn't add up, it just doesn't make sense."...and it truly doesn't add up or make sense. Oh how I have had to ask the Lord's forgiveness for putting Nick on the back burner, for him coming in second so many times. There are times when I was rushing out first thing to serve someone else in need, and his needs were not being met at home. It pangs my heart to think that I have done that, and I think it is so easy to do that because we take our loved ones for granted lots of times, but I am greatful that the Lord is showing me this now....in order to be effective and used by Him and for His glory...never neglect your home life and serving your family first....we must start there! For it is often times them that need us the most.


So in closing this blog I will say I am finding myself prioritizing my life, goals, dreams, desires, wants, wishes and all of the above.  Now I haven't literately sat down and made a list of it all in order, but its just the change and attitude of my heart that is evolving into something different for this season. God always knows whats best!