A Confession and Katie Davis.

I have a confession to make. But, first here's a little back ground info.

It has been exactly 6 months since I decided to leave my banking career with Wells Fargo to be a full time stay at home mom. I knew this is what God was calling us to do for our family...to step out on faith and trust Him in our finances; to go cutting our income significantly in half to stay home with our little man. It seemed absolutely ridiculous, irresponsible, and no way that it would work on paper to the human eye. But, God's ways we can not fathom, they are unsearchable in our minuscule little brains. I did know one thing...that I heard God's voice clear as day and there was a great tug at my heart that this was the direction we needed to take. So we stepped out in faith with anxiousness and nervousness, but ultimately with an inner peace that we knew God was going to take care of us and supply all our needs.

Well...flash forward to the present. Actually, about a month ago.

Here's my confession.

I was overwhelmed, distraught, confused, shaken in my faith, and had a lack of trust in the Lord. I started to second guess if I even heard His voice correctly about leaving my job to stay home full time. We had unforeseen bills starting to pile up, our bank savings account was looking slim to none and on top of that our second little one is on the way! I was falling into a quick state of complete worry. I panicked...and doubted His will and plan for us. My sweet hubby kept trying to remind and reassure me what God had called our family to do. So thankful for his encouragement and logic daily. Nevertheless, I choose not to listen to him and choose to dwell in negativity, doubt and the "what if" syndrome. I had lost trust in the Lord's plan. In His will for us.

But, God has a way of always gently correcting, rebuking and guiding us (me) back into His will and direction. It wasn't until I picked up a copy of the book, "Kisses from Katie" that I was reminded of His unfailing plan for our family. The book is about Katie's life...a young girl's journey to serve the people of Uganda on God's calling. Oh, how great her obedience and faithfulness was in heeding His voice and stepping out on such extreme faith! As I read through just the opening acknowledgements and introduction of this book I found myself so convicted, and at the same time so overwhelmed with God's love. This girl "quit her life" and instead traded it in for all of God's will for her. She was absolutely abandoned to Him and such a willing faithful vessel. She was ready to do all He asked of her. As I read through the pages and felt her complete trust in God to supply all her needs, the needs of her adopted daughters and the African people that she poured the love of Christ into daily I was reminded of the calling God had placed on me and my families life. I may not be a missionary in a third world country, but I am a follower of Christ and we being followers are called to step out on faith. To trust God with the unforseen and the unknown. To rely on Him to supply our needs. To serve others and those around us daily...and being that I am also a stay at home mom is nonetheless being a missionary to my family; serving and loving and being the hands and feet of Jesus daily just like Katie is with these people and her daughters in Uganda.

With that said, this book was a God send. It opened my eyes to remember not just the calling God has placed on me, but on so many other levels and just things I take for granted for daily. Ultimately I realized that here it has been 6 months of us stepping out on extreme faith and doing His will...and in 6 months we have not missed one mortgage payment, fell short on any bills, never over drew our bank accounts, never had no food to eat or was in need of diapers and formula for John. We had Natalie's wardrobe and baby things almost completely provided for and furnished by people who were so willing to give and we are so grateful and thankful beyond on words at their giving. At the end of the day our air conditioner is still running, I am able to wash that last bit of laundry, soak in a nice warm bath, cuddle my little man while watching his favorite cartoons, and have medical care covered for us all. God has not failed us yet, and I know He will not fail us.

How foolish of me to lose trust in an unfailing God, to doubt His voice, to dismiss my husband's sweet encouragement, to worry about our needs, and to be afraid of what will come tomorrow.

God is bigger than our worries, fears and problems. He is faithful.  

So today I am still overwhelmed, but I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

I am thankful for God's faithfulness to His people and encouraged by the outpouring of the love of Christ through the faithfulness of His people. I am thankful for His tender guidance, correction, and the nudging of the Holy Spirit who always convicts us when we tend to let our flesh win out. I am thankful for His goodness and our needs that are provided for daily. For His word which is truth, for a hubby who is so patient with me and is quick to love me beyond my faults, and for this book that was placed in my hands at just the right time. It has renewed my soul. It has given me a desire for more of Him. To live a life that is completely abandoned to His will and ways. To be a willing vessel and to serve my family and others with joyfulness and love like never before.

So please never stop trusting in our unfailing Lord. I pray this was some encouragement for you.

I hope you pick up a copy of Katie's book. You will be moved.

Blessings,

"But my God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19