So the hubby and I have been working so diligently in Natalie's nursery the past couple weeks. It seems like every night I am working on some new decoration craft or nursery project after our little man hits the hay. Tonight I was in the process of finishing up painting this dresser white for baby Natalie that I had bought from a second hand store a few years back. While I was sitting there painting I started thinking about how just a little over a year ago here we were so diligently working and preparing the same way for John in his nursery...and a flood of emotions and thoughts invaded my heart and mind. With every stroke of the brush I couldn't help but think how sweet motherhood has been and how blessed by God I have been to get to experience it almost twice within a two year period. So with all of that being said...I wanted to take a few moments and list out a few things that motherhood has taught me so far within such a sweet short amount of time :)
Motherhood has taught me....
1. Just how much God truly loves us. When I look at John, I fall so much in love with him. I can't help staring in absolute amazement, and wonder at his adorable little body parts because He is so beautiful, and he is mine. From the cute little crown of his head, down to the nubiness of his big toe's (which happens to look just like his mama's hehe) it makes me so overwhelmed with joy and love because I know this is gazillion times infinity of how God looks at us. It says in scripture that He knits and forms us in our own mother's womb...Psalm 139:13 and because we are made in His image and He is our Creator I know He just marvels and stares in astonishment and amazement at us His handiwork because we are so beautiful and we are His.
2. Who truly cares what people think. I am a huge people pleaser by nature. I care immensely about what people think so much that for a portion of my life it controlled me. Since becoming a mother...I have truly relaxed in a degree to this. I honestly don't have the time, majority of the time, to care what people think of me. If anything motherhood has taught me to care more about what my husband, my child and God thinks of me rather than just everyone else. Of course...because I am human, I still catch myself getting wrapped up in other people's opinions about me at times, but it all comes to a complete halt when that sweet little voice echos from across the room or when I hear the key turn in the door around 5:45 pm every evening. It is then...that I'm reminded that this little guy and this sweet hubby of mine approves of me and thinks I'm wonderful, and at last...I do not have a care in the world :)
3. It's OK to not be perfect. I am a huge perfectionist. When I do something it has to be 120% done right and if its not I tend to beat myself up. But, since becoming a mom I've realized I don't have time to give my complete all in all into every single little thing that comes down the turnpike and to be this standout super human. As a mother, especially a stay at home one, if you can make it through the day with at least remembering to put deodorant on and put the clothes from the washer into the dryer then you are doing great! Your house does not need to look like it came out of catalog page in Pottery Barn because let's face it...it's destroyed in 30 minutes tops by a cute little 22 pound body that has as much force as Hurricane Hugo did. Not just your house...but everything does not have to be perfect all the time. With that said, I am thankful that when it comes to dinner...my hubby has complete grace when I tell him it's frozen pizza again for dinner tonite. :)
4. The joy of giving. Not that I was ever freakishly or obnoxiously stingy (ask my cousin Amanda though, and she will tell you every toy left at Grandma's house was apparently mine) but, I have this new found love for just giving. I see the joy on my son's face when I give him a cookie, a sip of my drink, his favorite blanket to go to sleep, when I turn on his favorite TV show, when I give up my time away from cleaning to just sit in the floor with him and read endless amounts of books, when I give him extra kisses and tackle him with hugs, and when I just show him love and compassion after a fall or a boo boo. That joy overflows my heart...even in these smallest of things and it overflows into other avenues of my life and I just want to give to others to just see the joy on their face too.
5. What a true friend is...and what friendship with God looks like. I know my son is too young to understand what a friend is...but I swany he does a beautiful job at it daily with me, his dad and others. He is so kind! I have seen him crawl over to another babies aid in the nursery when they are crying and he looks at them as if concerned. He has even gone as far as placing his little hand on their leg and it looks as if he is showing compassion. Talk about a total melt moment! Sometimes he picks up things off the floor and just comes over to you and holds his little finger up for you to grab it and he is so excited about it. He loves to generously give kisses and does it a good bit of the time without you having to ask for one. He loves to make you smile and sometimes will stop what he is doing and makes sure you are looking so he can give you the biggest grin ever! He loves to clap at anything that is funny, positive and uplifting...and he wants you to clap with him. It's like he just wants to celebrate non stop and it's made me realize that this is what a true friend does...they just love to celebrate life with you! He is quite the affectionate little man! He loves to cuddle, hold your fingers and loves to place his head on your shoulder. Seeing him in these moments makes me think that the heart of a toddler and baby is what true friendship is really like in its most innocent and purest form. It is beautiful to see the sweet little friendship of God shining through.
6. How to be a better wife. Since I have became a stay at home mom...I've realized that many things are not about me. It's about them! My job is not just a stay at home mom, and I'm not just raising my child, but I am serving my husband as well. This is my calling, these two are my duty and I love it. It is hard work lots of times juggling a husband's needs, a toddler's, your house, and lastly yourself, but it is rewarding to see the look on my hubby's face and hear it in his voice when I tell him there is fresh underwear and socks for him in the drawer. The relief on his face when I have packed his lunch for work the next day. The gratitude he has when the bills are paid, the pantry is stocked with his fave foods, the dog is feed, clean sheets are on the bed, he has fresh clean carpet to walk on, and he has a new toothbrush. I love serving him...and never even thought about it, or had it ever occurred to me before just how important serving him really was, but it so is, and I am thankful that God has given me to opportunity to fully understand that! I owe it to Him and motherhood.
So these are just a few things motherhood has taught me thus far...I am sure there will be tons more added to the list as months and years go by. I'd love to come back and revisit this post and keep adding to it in the future. What has motherhood taught you?
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