A Christmas Wonder...

Christmas is just a few days away, and as I sit here in the quiet of the night by our Christmas tree looking over at all the presents that are adorably wrapped and placed so neatly under the tree I find myself lost in wonder.

Wondering about that first Noel night.

What a great and beautiful gift was given that night...given to all the world. This gift really is the greatest gift ever. Jesus, and to think that the greatest gift ever wasn't something wrapped in adorable paper or placed so neatly under a tree, but was wrapped in swaddling clothes and found lying in a manger. I stand in awe. The long awaited Messiah, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords could have chosen to come into the world in any other way, shape or form. He could of made this huge grand entrance, had the royal carpet rolled out, and could of came bursting through the heavens in all His glory and might, but instead He humbled himself. God became a baby.

I wonder about that.

How beautiful it is and how unfathomable at the same time. Truly what a gift Mary held in her hands that night. Emmanuel...God was literately with her...in her arms. Breathing, moving, and in the flesh. A baby. I wonder what she thought as she held the greatest gift ever...wrapped in swaddling clothes. I wonder if she wondered, like any mother, who He would grow to look like, and what He would become. I wondered if she just knew He would one day die for her...for the world.

Oh, I wonder.

I wonder what heaven looked like and sounded like the moment Mary birthed my precious Savior into this world. I wonder what the angels were doing. I envision them singing, dancing and sounding trumpets off like never before. I know all of heaven probably just went crazy with rejoicing, and I can bet the spirit of God was like a house castle on fire; consuming every square inch of that stable. Oh, I wonder what the animals did in His presence, how Joseph handled everything and if there finally became a vacant room in the Inn the next day. I wonder how the birth went down, and how bright and big that star really was.

I wonder.

I'd give anything to have been a fly on a wall that Bethlehem night. To see the greatest gift ever be given to this world. To see what heaven looked like. To see the faces of Mary and Joseph and sweet baby Jesus. To see God in the flesh...as a baby.

What a gift God gave to the world.


Himself.


I'm done wondering. Now, I give thanks.


Merry CHRISTmas!!

Lessons from a Sippy Cup

So a week or two ago at Target these holiday sippy cups were $2.99. John wanted one when he saw it. So he grabs it off the shelf and was itching to give it to me. Now for any mother you know when your child brings you something with those sweet little eyes looking up at you, you sometimes can't help but to give in, and so of course I put it in the cart only until a few minutes later to pull it back out and put it back on the shelf. Of course he pitched a fit and I tried to explain to him as best as I could that we didn't really need to spend this money right now, that maybe next time we could get it, and that today we just need to just get what we came in here for and go bye bye. Needless to say I might as well of been talking to the air because he's a toddler and toddler's have their minds set...and he had his mind set on having that sippy cup and that's all he saw or heard at the moment.

Now...I know what you're probably thinking at this point, "well it's only $2.99!", and I totally get that. But, coming from a family of 4 who is living day to day off of one income at the moment and trying to be diligent about saving as much as we can to help pay off some bills this $2.99 might as well been $29.99 to me.

So a few days ago we went back to Target to grab a few needed items and came across these sippy cups again and I don't know who screamed louder...me or John because they were marked down to $.79 cents!!!! I was really excited about that because I could justify in paying under a dollar for that sippy cup, but definitely not $2.99. So I picked it up as fast as I could and gave it to John. His little eyes just lit up as he was holding on to it so tightly and wiggling happily in the cart. I smiled at his pure innocent joy over something as small as a sippy cup and thought to myself, "man...I can't believe I almost paid full price for that thing...you can't even get that at the Dollar Tree!"

Now I know that all of this may sound just a bit trivial or maybe even ridiculous to you, and I know for some $2.99 may not make or break your bank account (and in all honesty it probably wouldn't of done that to us either) because each financial situation is definitely different, but bare with me because there is a moral to this story. (Aside from the obvious,"being frugal is key, "it pays to never pay full price for anything", "good things come to those who wait", and for John's sake "patience is a virtue"), but it is in this situation I learned something very important. If God can trust us in the small things He gives...He will trust us with even greater things, (and this applies not just to money, but in many other areas of our walks.)

This my friends was a small thing, but being good stewards of our money and making wise decisions with our money is so important to God, and I feel it's never too early to teach this to our children. I pray Nick and I will always be diligent in teaching our children the value of a dollar, to always make wise financial decisions, to have good spending habits, and to be more thrifty, frugal and prudent with what God has given them. Not only will it help them to save up for things, help them to stay out of debt, and free them up financially to give to others, but if God could trust them in the small things He gives, He could trust them with even greater that they may be even more of a blessing to others!

So even though I am positive John had no clue what was going on at the moment with the sippy cuppy lesson...I nonetheless  sure did, and as much as we could teach this lesson to our children, God definitely used this as a reminder for me!


Cheer's to $.79 cent sippy cups!

So Tired!

Wow! Natalie just turned a month old!  I can't believe how fast time has flown, but I can't believe even more how much it seems like she has always been here and apart of our family. I find it hard to imagine what life was like without her before. She truly does bring what her middle name implies, "Joy" to our family and I feel so blessed that I get to be a mom to John and now her.

But, I have to be honest and say these past 4 weeks have been nothing short of beauty and excitement, but it has not been all rainbows and butterflies either. It has definitely been somewhat of survival mode with me being a stay at home mom and having a newborn and a toddler who just hit 16 months a few days ago to juggle.  I find myself multitasking-tasking like crazy and experimenting with different ways I can make things easier and convenient for me to manage two kids throughout the day. Half the time I don't know what day it is and the sun lots of times is my go to clock.

I find my days are booked up washing bottles, sippy cups. and twice the amount of laundry. My days are a never ending task of finding stale cheerios and soggy blueberries left over from the day before in between couch cushions. I'm constantly juggling the feeding demands of a newborn and toddler while wiping boogies, tiny bee-hinds and kissing little imaginary boo boos. Lot's of day's I'm occupied with trying to distract the oldest from giving the littlest whip lash or a broken limb, and lately I have spent majority of the days correcting an overly defiant toddler who is hitting the terrible two stage a bit early while timing nap times just right so that both little ones can sleep at the same time. Most days if I get this right and able to make it out of our pj's by 4 pm then I define it as a successful day! To top it off if I can at least remember to get mine and the toddlers teeth brushed then I definitely feel like I should receive a gold medal of some sort. :)

Needless to say...juggling two kids under the age of two as a stay at home mom has been quite an adventure so far, and I have been  so tired and exhausted from trying to figure all of this out and establish ourselves a daily routine.

I am tired, but I am finding that it's the kind of tired that if you're going to be tired...you want this kind of tiredness.

It's a tiredness from carrying the weight of two sleeping little's ones at the same time up the stairs for nap times. It's a tiredness from waking up every few hours in the night to feed and rock the littlest back to sleep. It's a tiredness from never having to truly rest your feet because they are busy pacing the floors throughout the day cleaning, washing tiny clothes, picking up toys, playing with toys, and chasing a cute little toddler around who has more energy than you can shake a stick at. It's a tiredness from laughing till your gut hurts at watching the oldest grow in his personality and making the funniest new discoveries. It's the tiredness of your mind because you are constantly thinking of their needs instead of your own and it's a tiredness in your knees because they are having to hit the floor several times throughout the day approaching God's heavenly throne in prayer for patience with a toddler meltdown.

So while I may be tired today, it's the type of tired that I do welcome...because this type of tired makes my heart so full.

Full of joy...in watching their every milestone, and new discovery. In getting sweet cuddles, slobbery kisses and tiny hugs. The smell of my new baby girls skin and her tiny grins, and the ability to use my God given instincts to parent and mother my children...even through a toddler meltdown. I know these days are long, but these years are so short and I want to savor and grasp every little moment as much as I can...the overwhelming, the messy, the chaotic, completely crazy, and the tired because I know I will never get these moment's in time back and these years are so important. I find that motherhood has taught me more about life, and God's love than anything ever has before, and as tired, overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day I may be I can always find that I learned something new that day through the eyes of my children.

In closing, I never thought being so tired could be such a blessing! So motherhood bring on the tired, but if you could take the toddler meltdowns with you that would be great too. :)

John, Jesus, and Some Busted Stitches.

When Nick and my in-laws brought John to the hospital the day after I delivered Natalie I had envisioned this grand reuniting with my son....that he would run to me and jump in my arms and we would blissfully all meet Natalie and have this one big happy family experience as our first meeting as family of 4. But...um yea...that didn't quite happen like that.

I hadn't seen John in a couple days since he stayed the night at the in laws house the day before Natalie's birth and then didn't make it to the hospital until the day after. I was worried about him being freaked out by everything so I had made sure everything was perfect for his visit to us. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable to see mommy in a weird place so I cleaned myself up, put normal clothes on and makeup to make myself look like the usual instead of being in the gloomy hospital gown. I had Natalie in the room with me laying in her hospital crib. I didn't want to be holding her when he came in because I didn't know how he would respond and wanted to ease into the introduction with her. So even after all that time and effort and the serious thought out process of making his visit so comfortable this happens....

He comes through the door and here I am standing there with arms wide open and with the biggest smile on my face from here to Texas. I say to him, "Hey Buddy!!!! It's Mommy!!" hoping he would be so excited and just kicking to get out of his stroller to come to me, but nope....I got rejected. My heart instantly sank. He looked at me as if he had never known who I was and slouched down in his stroller as if he was afraid of me. I couldn't pick him up because of the surgery so Nick picked him up and brought him up to me to give me kisses and he turned and put his hand up as if to push me away, and so I was rejected again. I kept saying, "John...it's OK. It's just Mommy." He kept looking down at his toy car and wouldn't acknowledge me. He then the whole visit kept clinging to my Mother-in-law. I was so beside myself and so broken about this. This should be such a happy, joyful time and I found myself so sad, insecure of myself as a mother and crying in the bathroom. Now I know hormones probably had a huge play in the factor, but this really bothered me. I just never seen little man act this way, but I have never been away from him this long either. So of course after beating myself up about that I said a quick prayer for him and I, gained some composure and went on with the visit. Hoping it was just phase and would all pass soon...

...and it did.

On Wednesday morning John and Natalie had their 15 month check up and her first pediatric appointment. John had to wind up getting a couple shots that day. I was holding Natalie so Nick went over to the table with him and held his little hands and was tickling his neck and giving him kisses to take his mind off the shots. When the nurse came in and gave him the shots John immediately went into this murderous screaming fit. Then the most amazing thing happened. One that if you're a mom and reading this you know exactly this next feeling...he reached out for me and only wanted his Mommy. Ahhh!!! The best feeling in the world! I gave Natalie to Nick and I ran over there as fast as I could with arms wide open and said "It's OK buddy...Mommy's here." He just held onto me so tightly as tears were just a flowing. I wanted to cry right along with him to release some of that pent up mommy guilt I had about whatever I did to make him act so weird towards me, and I wanted to catch every tear that fell from his sweet little face and bottle it up and send it to the moon. I picked him up off the table and Nick freaked out and reminded me that I just had surgery and that I might bust some stitches! At that point I didn't care if I busted one stitch or 10, popped open my incision, winded up with an infection from it all, and had to go back to the hospital for another surgery. My son wanted his mommy...and that's all that mattered to me at the moment. I'd bust a million stitches for that! Nothing could ever separate my love for him or Natalie.

What's so cool about all of this is that I was telling a friend about this incident a couple days ago and she responded with, "Oh, John is just with you all the time. He probably takes you for granted a bit, but not intentionally because he is still little and doesn't know he is doing it. But, he does know you are always going to be there", and that's when I felt the Lord speak right to me.

Often times Jesus is standing there with arms wide open with the biggest smile from here to Texas on. So ready and eager to work in our lives, to love on us, to guide us, to save us, and when He knocks on the door of our hearts and says so excitedly, "Hey child!! It's your heavenly Father!!", we act as if we don't know Him or have time for Him, and we reject Him. Sometimes as a follower of Christ we reject Him daily in our walks and time spent with Him, and then there are those that reject Him as Lord and Savior. We then cling to others or things around us for comfort instead of the one true source of comfort. Him. Oh, the many times I have rejected His love, His instruction, His word, and His guidance. The times I have taken my heavenly Father for granted because I know He truly is always, "going to be there", and the times I have taken comfort in things and people other than Him. But, I don't want to live life like that! I want to rely on Him and soak in His presence daily. I want to need and desire His love and His will daily, not just when I need Him the most. I want to find my comfort in Him, not in worldly things. But, how beautiful, gracious, loving and merciful He is that He still comes running to us with arms outstretched so wide, and completely ready and so eager to scoop us up, love on us, and save us from ourselves when we do need Him. He may not have stitches that He is worried about busting at the moment when He scoops us up, but He ultimately has scars that He bares from the lashings and piercings He endured on our behalf on an old rugged cross. How gracious and loving is our heavenly Father! Nothing can separate His love for us. 

So ending thoughts. I wanted to share this little story because it spoke volumes to me. God has a funny way of speaking to me and funny ways of how He has to get my attention lots of times. ie. through a Disney movie and now stitches from a surgery. But, no matter what method or how He chooses to speak I'm so glad that He does speak to me and He speaks to you too...often times we are just not listening.

Never stop loving our heavenly Father. Always be so eager, excited, steadfast and ready to just love Him every day because oh how He loves us so much more! God bless you....stitches and all!



"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 38-39

She's Here!!!

Our beautiful Natalie Joy graced the world with her presence on October, 18th 2013 at 8:08 am. She weighed a whopping one ounce bigger than her big brother at 7 lbs 3 oz and 19 3/4 inches long.

She is truly such an angel, and has the sweetest spirit already. Such a sweetheart! She came out with a dark head full of hair, and has the most piercing beautiful eyes, the most perfect mouth and nose and the cutest ears. Her fingers and toes are so slender and long. She reminds me a ton of Nick's Italian side of the family...our little Italian princess :).  She definitely however reminds me of John with certain facial expressions shes makes and how she wiggles and squirms around. I have caught myself a couple times saying, baby John on accident. Mother brain...because I can't blame it on pregnancy one anymore. lol.

Natalie is so petite, little and absolutely loves being held. She is just so cuddly and cute so who wouldn't want to?! But, of course this made sleeping the first night home from the hospital rather difficult for mommy. She just wanted to be cuddled, rocked and held and feed all night, but I wouldn't trade a sleepless night or no wink of sleep for anything in the world with her. So I guess I'll catch up on my sleep when they both leave the nest one day. Feeding wise....this little girl loves to feed! She winded up losing more than 10% of her body weight in the hospital so I was trying to cluster feed her in the hospital and pump to get my milk to come in more, and then when it finally did its like shes been catching up ever since. Last night, her first night home, I seriously couldn't keep up with her feeding demands so I found myself frantically pumping, breast feeding and giving her little ready to feed Similac bottles in between. It was a pretty funny moment and one I'll never forget. She was a little woman on a feeding mission. She has her first pediatrician appointment in the morning so I am eager to see how much she has gained since Sunday. Overall, my milk is coming in great and she breast feeds wonderfully.

Update on big brother John. He is just so infatuated with Natalie. Every time he sees her he just lights up, and when one of us is holding her he just runs over to her with the biggest grin and immediately wants to give her kisses. He then tries to rub her head, but its more of like a half pat that always winds up with us having to remind him to be gentle...but he is still little himself and is still learning. Daddy had set up her swing in the living room the day before she came home and once we saw John flip it over we had to go to plan B. So now we have her in a bouncer sitting in the upper part of a pack n play deck area in our living room while we are down stairs during the day. Every time she cries...John runs over to the pack and play and up on his tippy toes he goes to lean over and see her. He usually responds with "uh oh" and then he is off on his next little adventure. Seeing him around her melts my heart. I can't wait till she is a bit older, sitting up and interacting, so I can really see them a bit more in action together. I just know he is gonna be the sweetest big brother ever. I pray they are uber close, best friends and he is a protector over her. I sure he will because he is such a sweetheart himself.

Update on Daddy. He has absolutely amazed me since we have been home. He should get the "Dad of the Year" award, and I am not just saying that because I am biased and because he is my husband, but if there ever was one...I would nominate him a thousand times over. He has been so hands on, patient and doing all these multi-tasking things that I have never seen him do before. I haven't been able to do much since I am not only recovering from delivery, but from an abdominal surgery as well. I have to be super cautious about weight lifting, bending, climbing stairs, etc. I can't go go go like I use to until I heal completely. I so badly want to get down on the floor and roll around with John, pick him up from his crib, carrying him up the stairs, or pick him up when he is crying and pulling on my pants legs, but I can't and this is when Nick comes in. But this too shall pass and I know in a few weeks I will be back to my old self again. Nick offered to take Natalie and John downstairs this morning so I could get some much needed sleep. When I came down stairs this afternoon after napping I came down to a completely clean kitchen, living room, John was fed, Natalie was fed and napping again, and a load of clothes were almost done drying. He is truly my hero. I am so thankful for him and this time that he has off work so he can help me and so we can spend time together as a new family of 4.

As far as birth and delivery. Many knew I had planned a Vbac birth with Natalie. Something I had a huge desire for. It was at our 40 week check up that Nick and I decided to forgo the Vbac plans and schedule a repeat c-section at 40 1/2 weeks. We were concerned about waiting it out any longer, and the risk of getting Natalie here safe was at the forefront of my heart and mind that whole week. I just felt like things kept falling through the weeks leading up to my due date. My contractions kept stalling out, I wasn't progressing as far as dilation and effacement like I had hoped I would (not that all these things are indicators of a successful vaginal birth or not), but I had hoped to see more progress, and I just felt like something wasn't right. Ultimately, I felt uncomfortable in my spirit about waiting it out any longer to go into labor on my own and attempt this Vbac. Nick and I sat in the doctors office and prayed over this decision then we immediately had this peace that we knew this was the right way to go. That peace was nothing but the Lords. His will and presence was so evident in that operating room during Natalie's delivery. I am so thankful and stand in awe once more of just how great our God is.

During the surgery we found out that I had a uterine window (super thin stretched out area that you can see through) near my previous old incision scar and when our Doctor initially cut me open he could see Natalie plain as day in the window. He had the hubby stand up and look over the curtain so he could see it too, and Nick was pretty shocked when he saw it. The doctor informed me if I would of waited it out any further and went into labor on my own the stimulation of contractions on my uterus, on top of laboring could of caused that window to tear further and rupture, and my Vbac attempt could of possibly resulted in Natalie not being here. I learned so much during this experience. That there are things in life that we think we want, need and desire as much as we truly do need water, food and our next breathe to live. But, when God says "no" and closes a door on something it's for our own good, protection and is according to His plan. "He works all things for good". I praise God that He had me and Natalie's best interest at heart on that operating room table, that He doesn't give me all my want's and things I think I need and doesn't fulfill all my desires. I thank Him for watching over us and protecting her precious little life too. I thank him for His spirit that gave me that uncomfortable feeling about not going forward with a vbac even if at first I didn't want to feel or accept it. I am just thankful that I have our little girl here tonight, to see my sons face light up when shes around, to witness her being loved on by her daddy, that I am able to cuddle, rock, kiss and feed her, and that I am able to lose a night's sleep over her. If all that meant that I had to undergo a major surgical operation, to go under the knife once again, to have to go through a recovery period, to give up the vaginal birth experience that I had hoped and longed for, to ultimately lay my selfish desires and wants to rest just to get her here then it was all worth it and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

So here we are...a family of 4! Yippee! I just know we have many fun, exciting, and beautiful days ahead...as well as many exhausting, tiring and overwhelming ones too with having two under two to chase around, raise up and to love on. But, I am so beyond excited to see my little ones grow up together and for this new adventure we as a family are embarking on!

So thankful.

Eucharisteo! 

A Gift from God

I give thanks to You alone
Who sits on the throne
To loan me this precious gift
And to call it my own.

May I always see, Lord
In every waking hour,
Your majesty and grace
In this delicate flower.

Help me, O God,
To guide and preserve,
This wonderful blessing
to love and to serve.

-Doran Richards

Dear Natalie....

Dear Natalie,

Ok baby girl. Mommy thought you would of been here by now wanted you here by now, but you must like the warmness and coziness of my womb all too much. I don't blame ya! I don't like leaving the warmness and coziness of my bed most mornings...so I can fully understand. Now that we are approaching a week away from your due date we are all getting so ready and eager to meet you! Friends, Grandparents, Great-Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, your Daddy, your brother John (but he really has not the foggiest notion of your impending arrival, but I can imagine he is growing quite tired of me constantly pointing at my belly all day saying, "baby" and prob wondering what really is this said baby I speak of) and I am so ready to meet you my love. I have to admit though, I am growing pretty impatient by the minute. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine. But, I am always finding myself in situations where God has to repeatedly test my patience and I am having to constantly learn to wait upon His timing...your birth being one of these situations. So, here I am trying my hardest to wait patiently for your arrival. Although, I really have no choice in the matter. You will be here when God see's fit to bring you into this world. Hopefully...that is like tomorrow?! :)

For the last couple of weeks we have been busy finishing up last minute things to prepare for your arrival. Packing our hospital bags, putting your car seat in our cars, having a deep cleaning done in the house, stocking up on last minute grocery items, stocking up on your diapers and wipes, sterilizing breast pump parts, pacifiers and bottle nipples, and washing and folding the last bit of your clothes. Also, in the last couple weeks your Father and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary, which is a blessing, and we had your baby shower this past weekend! It was absolutely beautiful and so so special (your Auntie M threw it for us) and on a rather sad note we just said goodbye to our sweet Charlie pup that was such a big part of our lives this past weekend. Although, we prayerfully considered and knew that this was best for our growing family it is still never easy saying good bye. He was one sweet, amazing dog. I am hopeful you can still meet him one day since he did go to a dear friend of ours. :)

Update on you: I had my 39 week appointment today at the Docs. I saw your cute little body on the ultrasound screen and your precious little heart beating away. To any mother that is expecting this is always a sigh of relief, and so I left the Docs feeling so thankful that you are healthy and growing right along as you should.  As of now I am 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced which probably can acccount for the on and off mild contractions and crampiness I have been having for the past week. It's always exciting to see and hear how much progress you make week to week at my appointments! This is all new to me because I never got this far or got to experience all this with your brother. As you know mommy is attempting to have a vbac birth with you and since we are now down to the final days of you making your entrance in this world I have been rather anxious about this whole experience. I had to have a come to Jesus meeting earlier this evening with all of this. I got very discouraged and I think more nervous and afraid more than anything. My mind was consumed with all the "what if's" and all the possible outcomes of your birth. The enemy had really been attacking my thoughts lately and so I have had to remind myself to, "take every thought captive to Christ"  and just had to soak myself in prayer and claim His blood and promises over u and I.  I just more than anything, however God decides for you to come into this world, want you here safe, healthy and me safe and healthy too. I am so thankful for the many mothers that have offered up so much encouragement these last few months, for those that have kept us covered in constant prayer and the mother's who have been where I am about to be with their vbac and birthing and laboring experiences too! It has been so comforting. I know in a few weeks once your here, and I am rocking you away in your nursery...lol while watching your little brother vandalize your room, I am going to look back on all this crazy anxiousness, nervousness and ridiculous worrying that I have done and just giggle my heart out and think, "what in the world was I thinking?!" Your mommy is a nut! However, *please note* pregnancy hormones have truly amplified this statement. :)

Any who, I wanted to document some little pieces of what's been going on the last few weeks as we wait for you. So excited to just have you in our arms soon enough and expand our little family by two more feet. You have already expanded my heart and brought so much "Joy" so I can only imagine what my heart is going to feel like the moment they place you in my arms and the moment I officially become a mother to two precious little ones!!! Your brother has rocked every inch of my world and being and I can only imagine what the two of you combined are going to do to me! :)

God has been so good my sweet girl. I can't wait for you to know all about His love and just how good our God is! 

I love you baby girl...and please come soon!

Love, 

Mommy

Below are some pics of some of what's been going on the past few weeks!

Cheers to 4 wonderful years!

The beautiful red roses your Daddy got me for our anniversary!

I love your daddy!

Welcome!

Just in case you didn't know! Hehe.

Me, Ni Ni, and GG at my shower. 3 Generations! You will make 4!

   The beautiful handmade quilt your Aunt B made you. 

Shhh! This was my favorite gift!

Shower decor. The baby shoes on the left are mine from when I was a baby, and your ultrasound pic on right was from when we found out you were a GIRL!! 

A little keepsake from the day!

            My friend Emralde and I. She is due with her precious little girl Madalene in December! 
                        This will be your first girlfriend in the world! Can't wait for future play dates! :)

Your Auntie M and I. (She threw our shower.) She is the best!

    Your beautiful Nana and I! You will fall in love with her!

We said prayers for you!

The best baby shower punch ever! I had like 10 cups! lol

                       All the special women who came to celebrate the day! You are so loved!

Tried to snap a pic with your big brother after the shower, but he was not feeling it. I think he was done with all the women at this point. He is a character! Can't wait to see you two together!!

The night we said good bye to our Charlie.

Such a sweet sweet dog!

Had to post this pic. Your brother is christening your room.

You have dropped! Won't be long!!!

I wonder if you will look like me?!?

Gearing up for Natalie's big day!

So as I am gearing up for Natalie's big day I keep trying to remember what laboring was like with John. Lol and that was just 15 months ago! Boy does time fly!! It's amazing though what one can seem to forget in just 15 months. I know at the time the labor pains (induced labor on top of that) as excruciatingly painful and as real and raw as it was then...I still can't clearly remember or really wrap my mind around just how painful it was looking back on it now. I think that is truly a miracle of childbirth. You forgive the pain and forget it all at the same time.

As I am entering my 37 week of pregnancy with Natalie this week I know this pain will again be all too real and raw for me soon enough. If you may not know already...I am planning a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) since John's induction ended in a c-section last time. Not only just out of desire to want a vaginal birth, but I want my recovery time to be shortened this time since I will have not only a 15 month old, but also a newborn that needs their mommy. So I am thankful that I have an awesome supportive Doctor who recommended this route for me, and also a wonderful loving, and supportive hubby behind me as well.

Upon speaking with my Doctor on ways to up my chances of a successful VBAC and on top of my own research,  he and I have concluded that eliminating as far along as possible if not forgoing altogether the use of an epidural or any other type of pain medication, which will greatly help my chances (since my Doctor thinks this is what may have slowed and stalled my labor down last time) of having a successful VBAC. So here I am not only attempting a VBAC just 15 months after a ceasearn, which is also major surgery, but I'm also planning on trying to do this whole labor and delivery think au naturel. 

To say I am a little freaked out is an understatement.

I was pretty confident, content, and comfortable about this whole birthing experience up until a week or so ago. Now that it is getting down to the final wire I find myself getting a bit anxious and nervous. I mean I don't know anyone who would not be getting at least a tad nervous about feeling pain as equivalent to being repeatedly stabbed 50 times over and over...ok so that's a little out there...but it's a pain unlike any other and although the miracle of it is that the pain has somewhat been wiped from my memory.....I just know that it's upcoming pain I don't really want to have to feel.

Unfortunately though for us women because of Eve's fall and sin in the garden we have to experience this particular pain...in Genesis 3:16 it says, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children."

Gee...thanks a lot Eve! I still however can't understand why God chose labor pain as a form of punishment...but have to admit that this is a pretty creative form of punishment. 

But the pain, hardship and turmoil of labor and birthing is outweighed the moment those little ones get into our arms. The moment we birth life into this world, no matter the way we birth, the pain and suffering we had endured up until that point is all ultimately worth it and so much more! Here we are finally getting to hold our  tiny long awaited miracle from our great God that He fashioned and formed with His own hands for 9 months in our wombs. Child birth may cause a great deal of pain, but He brings forth a beauty and a reward from it.

Oh, I marvel at His works!

Ultimately, I and us women In general can truly rest in knowing that laboring and birthing is all a God thing. I just know that He will be with me in those painful moments just like He was with me 15 months before laboring with John and  was with me in that operating room when I had to undergo a section. The miracle of life is all a gift from Him. No matter how painful it was to get them here, and no matter what way He chooses to bring forth our sweet Natalie into this world, I will have to endure some form of pain either from major surgery (cesarean) or pain from laboring and birthing her out vaginally. I trust that God knows the desires of my heart, but I also trust in knowing that, "He also knows the plans He has for each one of us". He has been so good and faithful to Nick and I. He has entrusted us twice now with two little precious, healthy lives and for that we are so thankful, and I truly can not ask for anything more.

So with all that said...here I am due with Natalie in a few short weeks and have been busy preparing myself for her big debut. I want to go into this laboring experience this time focused and relaxed as much as I can with trying to go natural. Last time one thing I wish I would've done with John was have some labor music available. I love music. All types really. Especially music that is uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, positive and of course music that glorifies God. I had a couple friends who used music during their labors and it helped them to breathe and stay focused through contractions. So aside from the the walking, the birthing ball, the warm baths, the red raspberry leaf tea, the prayers and instructions from my Doc I decided to also put together my own laboring playlist...well actually two. One for laboring and one for birthing. I wanted to share my playlists below (they are pretty diverse songs...don't laugh...but these are songs that I've either always loved or that I am currently into at the moment that really uplift me, encourage me, and of course that I love jamming out to)...feel free if you are soon to give birth to copy and use my list as well.

Laboring Playlist:

1. Be Alright (Acoustic) - Justin Bieber
2. Bubble Toes -Jack Johnson
3. Empire State of Mind- Alicia Keys
4. Faithful is our God- Hezekiah Walker
5. Ain't No Mountain High Enough- Diana Ross
6. Gravity- Sara Bareilles
7. Give Me Faith- Elevation Worship
8. Hold My Heart- Tenth Avenue North
9. Hanging On- Britt Nicole
10. Only Hope- Mandy Moore
11. Starry Night- Chris August
12. Melodies From Heaven- Kirk Franklin
13. Nothing Is Wasted- Elevation Worship
14. Give Me Jesus- Jeremy Camp
15. Wagon Wheel- Darius Rucker
16. We Belong Together- Mariah Carey
17. You Are So Beautiful- Joe Crocker


Birthing Playlist:

1. Baby- Justin Bieber
2. Breathe- Michelle Branch
3. The Lost Get Found- Britt Nicole
4. Dog Days Are Over- Florence and the Machines
5. Firework- Katy Perry
6. Shackles- Mary Mary
7. Lights- Ellie Goulding
8. God Girl- Jamie Grace
9. One Step At A Time- Jordin Sparks
10. Part of Me- Katy Perry
11. He Is With Us- Love & The Outcome
12. Give Your Heart a Break- Demi Lovato
13. Titanium remix- Sia
14. You Lead- Jamie Grace
15. Crazy Things I Do For Love- Sammie
16. Isn't She Lovely- Stevie Wonder


On top of the play lists I also wanted to use scripture this time to meditate on...


Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

 Isaiah 66:9  "In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord. "If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation," says your God."

Psalm 127:3 – “Children are a blessing from the Lord; the fruit of the womb a reward."

Deut 28:4 – “Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and the offspring of your beasts, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock.”

Isaiah 46: 3-4 "Listen to me, you who I have upheld since you were concieved, and have carried since birth. Even to your old age and gray hair. I am He who will sustain you! I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." 

Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youth grow weary and tired, and young men stumble and fall. But, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."

As we approach the big day please keep me and baby Natalie in your prayers. Can't wait for her to be in our arms and for you all to  see her!! Thanks guys!!!

Dear Lord, 

Thank you for loving me and being so faithful in all things. Thank you also for another precious life to raise up, to love, to hold, to cherish, and to ultimately give back to you in turn. Lord, I pray that your name be honored no matter what. No matter how Natalie is birthed into this world. I pray that she is healthy and safe and that I am healthy and safe as well. You know my heart, my desires, my worries, and my fears. I place them before your throne. Calm my anxious spirit and give me a spirit of peace. Have your way Lord, and ultimately let your Will be done. For your ways I can not fathom and your Will is always perfect! I trust in you and I love you. It's in your heavenly son Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Natalie's Poem

Natalie's Poem

Oh, tiny little girl. Little joy. Little love.
We are so thankful for another undeserved gift from above.

You came to my womb, nestled in, and took your place.
You're already a blessed little girl in one sweet mysterious face.

You came as one big surprise to us all. 
A special surprise that was unplanned.
But, God had you in mind long before,
He created and formed you with His own hands.

Now we can't even imagine our lives without, 
You, sweet girl, who wasn't even dreamt about.

You have captured our hearts and increased it beyond measure.
Praise God you're another tiny miracle to love and to treasure!

So here we are counting down the glorious days.
Until we are greeted with your, oh so, precious ways.

We are all busy preparing and making room.
For you, Natalie Joy, who will bring more love to our home real soon.



Love you so much,

                  Mommy

Thoughts and Reflections from a Hospital Bag.

So, I decided to go ahead and pack Natalie's hospital bag tonight just to get it done and out of the way. I figured I'd probably wind up forgetting if anything since these last few weeks  this whole pregnancy my mind as been a little off kilter. Hehe. Probably due to the influx of female hormones coming from both sides here. :)

As I was going through some of Natalie's outfits and deciding on what to bring and what she will wear while our stay there I came across these little duck footie pants that John wore in the hospital. We winded up letting John wear them for his little hospital pics (something that we told ourselves we'd never do, but was the first to jump on them the next day when the photographers came around). Anywho...I had them placed in the back of one of her drawers since they were unisex. I figured at some point in the newborn stage she would probably wear them too. Come to think of it, I believe they were one of the first pieces of clothing items we got as a gift for John before we knew he was going to be a boy. So here I was packing through joyful tears and reflecting back on John. After holding them for those few momenys of reflection I decided to go ahead and pack these duck footie pants for Natalie to wear for part of her stay and her hospital pics too. But, of course I had to add a cute little yellow bow for her to wear with it. :)

It's hard to believe that I was doing this almost 14 months ago with John, packing his hospital bag and getting ready to bring him into the world. I can remember before packing those little duck footie pj's in his bag I thought to myself,"oh my gosh, he is going to be so tiny", and was afraid and nervous knowing that I was getting ready to care for something so small and fragile. Something so small that relied solely on me. How in the world would I ever know what to do?

When Nick came back to see John and I in recovery after my c-section he saw me breast feeding John for the first time and he said, "how do you know how to do that?" Truth is, I didn't....I had no clue. I never read a book on it or asked any questions. Never went to a breastfeeding class or even watched a video, but it came so natural and second nature to me the moment they laid him on my chest.

What I find so beautiful about the gift of motherhood is that you do ultimately know what to do, because God has placed such an natural instinct and gift in us. The natural born ability to know the instinct of protection, their cries, their cues, birthing, breastfeeding, and even just holding them and changing their diaper. Although, there are some things every new mom needs help with, and questions we are always asking along the way, but ultimately the instinct is just there and its truly a beautiful gift from our great God.

I love how when I posted this picture on Instagram earlier in an attempt to jot down my feelings without having to write a blog post (but you see where that brought me...to my blog. I just can't escape from it...and that's OK because I love writing) a friend wrote underneath my post that, "they are the most treasured gift from God." #madeinhisimage. Oh, she could not be more right.

How beautiful are we, His handiwork, His masterpiece. The true image of God. A newborn baby in all their innocence, beauty and even down to the sweet smelling of their soft, new skin is the most purest, sweetest and closest handiwork's of God that we get to witness first hand. They, we, are a true reflection of Him. We are made in His image. What's even more amazing is that we get to assist in such a miracle act of God from conceiving, carrying and birthing a human being into this world. It blows my mind, and it's so wild and breathtaking to me all at the same time to think about; the very hands of God forming and fashioning a human being in a mothers womb. Truly, "they are the most treasured gift of God."

So on ending thoughts....I am looking forward to holding and meeting our sweet, new miracle. I am excited about the newborn phase all over again too. I see some of my friends who are getting ready to be first time moms and I see in them the exact feelings I went through; a little apprehension, panic, fear, and some nervousness of hoping you do it all right and knowing what to do at all. But, if your a first time mom and find yourself reading this post and i could tell you any piece of advice...is just to relax. You will be completely amazed and in awe the moment they get into your arms. It's the most natural thing ever. You will know what to do...and if you need help or have questions, mother's that have come before are always willing to help. 

Thank you Lord for creating life through me once again, and for choosing me to be a mother to two precious handiwork's. It's truly a treasured gift that I don't deserve, but I am so thankful and help me to always be thankful for such treasured gifts.

God speaks...even through a Disney movie.

One of my all time favorite Disney movies has always been Cinderella. So of course I was super excited when I flipped on the Disney channel during John's milk time earlier today to see the original animated Cinderella movie playing! John got a tremendous kick out of the little mice like I always did!

What was pretty amazing though about this one particular time that I got to watch it was I heard something I've never heard before coming from the Fairy Godmother; one of the most beautiful lines ever was said in a Disney movie, maybe in any movie and it just so happen that I turned it on just in time to hear it. It could not of been more perfect timing for such a season that I find myself and so many of my friends and family members in. I truly felt like it was the Lord ministering to me and giving me a little word to share. Kind of funny, but pretty cool that God would speak to me through a Disney movie. Hehe. Not sure how to take that. But hey...He spoke to Moses through a burning bush!

But, on a more serious note I was at the part in the movie where Cinderella just ran out behind the mansion in the garden heartbroken and her dress ripped to shreds by her evil step sisters. She plummets down onto the stone bench soaking it with tears until she is greeted with her fairy Godmother. I can't believe as many times as I have watched this movie that I never caught or even paid attention to what the fairy Godmother tells Cinderella in the next few moments that unfold. I mean...I know she tells about the spell being broken at midnight and she goes on to turn the pumpkin into a carriage and the mice into stage coach gentleman etc, but what she actually says is pretty profound.


Here is a brief recap of the conversation:

Cinderella: There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing.
Fairy Godmother: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that.
Cinderella: Oh, but I do! 
Fairy Godmother: Nonsense, child! If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here, and here I am! Oh, come now. Dry those tears. You can't go to the ball looking like that.
Cinderella: The ball? Oh, but I'm not... 
Fairy Godmother:Of course you are. But we'll have to hurry, because even miracles take a little time.

It was at that moment I looked up from folding my twentieth pair of socks and felt like I just had an divine appointment with the Lord...yup...through a Disney movie.

Oh, but as crazy as that sounds...it could not be more true! Miracles do take time, because they are in His time.

You know patience has never really been my thing. It is such a weakness of mine. I never want to wait or be patient for anything and my faith has taken a dive numerous of times because of it. But, God has had to purposely put me in situations and circumstances in my life to where I have had to learn to trust and wait on Him. To wait for His miracles, which helps me produce patience, and in turn strengthens my faith.

There were so many people that ran through my mind and heart when I heard those words. A sweet friend I know who want's so desperately to conceive a child. To a hardworking man who is at the time unemployed and can't catch a break in finding a job to provide for his family. To that woman who has given up on Mr. Right. To a son or daughter caught up in the wrong crowd. To a dear family members fading health. To a friendship that needs some serious healing, and to a marriage that so desperately needs to be restored. Oh, there are just so many others that I could list that come to mind that are in need of a miracle today. But, these are just some of the everyday miracles we so yearn to see come forth. Things we don't want to wait or be patient for. We seem to have this "now" mentality. But, our ways are not God's ways and thats not His mentality. We must trust and wait upon Him patiently to bring forth these miracles in our lives. Is it easy? No. But is it worth it? Absolutely! Because His ways are perfect and good!

So if you are finding yourself like Cinderella these days, running low on faith and patience, and in dire need of a miracle...then remember to wait on the Lord because...

Blessings, 

Corey T

A Heartbreaking Loss...and God's Hope.

I just learned some pretty devastating news from a dear friend a couple days ago. She gave birth to her precious little boy at 29 weeks and eventually lost him 10 days later.

I had no idea.

I had not spoken with her in a few months due to the busyness of summer, and just life in general. She was really heavy on my mind...so I emailed her to check and see how her pregnancy was going and when her expectant due date was again. I was going to ask her where she was registered, what name they choose, how far along they were in the nursery, when her shower was and if they found out the gender yet. I was really excited for her because this was her first baby and I just knew since she was such a beautiful friend and person that she was going to be an even more beautiful mother.  But, before I could even finish reading the opening lines to the email she replied with my heart sank. As I read the words..."Well...I have some sad news..." I did not want to read any further. I knew what she was going to say next because I have once replied with those same empty words.

As I typed my reply back through tears my heart became so heavy. Even as I type now my heart is still heavy for my dear friend and her sweet little boy. What has broken my heart even more is that through all of this she has questioned her faith in God and is now in the process of trying to recover that faith.

I can relate to this completely for I am no stranger to questioning one's faith, to second guessing who God is, His will, His ways, and His truth. I have been there and it is a place I hope to never go again. It is such an empty, lonely feeling when you feel like the one true source of comfort, truth and hope has turned His back on you and is nowhere to be felt or found. It is devastating on so many levels. It is ultimately more trying and painful to walk around pretending that you believe God is good, and excited about being His child and who He is when deep inside you are one big confused, lonely, saddened, and afraid person who questions all of who He is.

As I started to write back to my friend I had no idea what to type. I wanted to reach through the computer and just wrap my arms around her. I wanted to tell her anything else uplifting and encouraging instead of uplifting God and encouraging her with His truth because I was afraid she would be turned off by it and reject it since at this point she is questioning her faith in Him.

But, ultimately I couldn't.

God has been way to good, too faithful, too loving, too giving, too forgiving, and too promising for me not to share just how good and faithful He has been and what He has done through me. Through my losses and pain.

So I wrote back to my friend and shared with her what I went through. Before I go any further...just want to add that In sharing through this blog post the email that I wrote to her I pray that any mother out there that may be going through or have gone through any type of pregnancy loss, still born birth, child loss or miscarriage that this will minister, uplift and be of some encouragement to you. I also want to bring God glory as it is His glory that is due.

So this is pretty much what I wrote back to my friend:

Oh my Ana!! That is so heartbreaking and devastating. I don't 100% know the pain and heartache you went through or continue to go through because I have never lost a child that far along, but I do know about loss, testing of ones faith, questioning God and hope. You may not know, but I had several miscarriages before we got pregnant with my first. They were back to back miscarriages and one was actually twins. I was about 10 weeks with the twins, and the first miscarriage was around 6 weeks. I still saw a heartbeat, and even though their little bodies were not fully developed I trusted and knew that God was still forming them. They had life... and then they were ripped apart from one of the most sacred places on this earth...a mother's womb. My womb. I questioned my faith in God, His will, who He was...why He would give life and then take it away, and then when we finally got pregnant month's later with my son John that whole pregnancy was one big faith test. I was a mess up until the day I delivered him...I was so afraid I was going to loose him. 

But, I learned so much looking back on it. I learned that, "God is the author and giver of life" 1 John 1:2...in His word it says "He gives and takes away...blessed be the name of the Lord." - Job 1:21. "He fashions and forms us in our mother's womb" Psalm 139:13. Ultimately we live in a fallen world, it is broken and nothing is perfect. We can however have reassurance though that, "He works together all things for our good...and that He knows the plans for us...and they are plans to not harm us, but to give us hope and a future."  Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11. For whatever reason...the Lord knew I could handle a loss. He doesn't give us nothing more than we can handle. It ultimately brought Him glory. 

Through my journey of loss I have reached other women and have comforted them in their distress, grief, heartache and pain. It stinks that it had to be my little ones that brought about such healing to other women, but this life is not about us...it is about serving, loving, giving ourselves away and being the hands and feet of Jesus. It wasn't until a few weeks after John's birth as I was going over through some paperwork from previous doctors visits I had kept with the twins and John's hospital bills that I noticed that the day I miscarried the twins was July 17th, 2011....the day I gave birth to John was July 17th 2012. It was exactly to the day a year later that the Lord gave us back what was taken from us. You see Ana...His ways are not our ways...we can not fathom the depths, the richness and the wonders of His love. He never said this life would be easy...but that only following and loving Him would be worth it. He is an awesome God...and His mercies endure forever! He never leaves us nor forsakes us...and always gives us back ten fold because He loves us. We just have to trust Him. There is no doubt...God has a plan for you through all of this hurt, and through your loss. Just trust Him. 

This pregnancy with Natalie has been a lot easier on me, because I have learned that my daughters life is truly in the hands of God. Life is His...He creates, He takes away, but He is steadfast and true and promises that His ways are good. That he will give us hope and a future. We have to trust in that. 

There is no doubt that our little ones are laying so perfectly peaceful in His arms as I type and one day we will be reunited with them. I am praying for you girl. I love you bunches and my heart aches as I type this for you because losing your own flesh and blood is never easy...no matter how old or far along they are. It still hurts, the pain is still real. It will take time to heal, but just trust in Jesus for the healing. 

I am always here for you girl. Always! I love you chick.

As I finished typing out that email to her...I was so overwhelmed with Gods love. To see His faithfulness written out, lived out, and to this day 2 1/2 years later using my losses and pain to again comfort another and to bring about His glory brings me great joy to serve and love such an awesome God and Savior. Little did I know what I went through then would one day have such significant purpose and play such apart in peoples lives. Thank you God for showing me your love, your goodness, mercy, and blessing me and Nick when I know I personally don't deserve such great of blessings. You are truly a God of such beautiful wonder.

In closing this post...I just want to say that if you find yourself in a situation like my dear, sweet friend Ana...just please never give up hoping, praying, serving, loving, and trusting in such a faithful God. Jesus is truly faithful and the only God of hope.

and....if you could please keep my friend uplifted in prayer. Stand in the gap for her and intercede on her behalf that God's love will just overwhelm her and that she will experience joy, His goodness and His unfailing love in a new way. A way like never before.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.


Blessings,

Corey T.

34 Weeks Pregnancy Survey...update!!

Wow! This time flew by...and in 6 or so weeks we will literally be holding our little girl! God has been so good and faithful! Here is my 34 week pregnancy survey update!

About You 

Age: 28 (had a birthday since the last update)

Height: 5'3"

About The Father 

Age: 34

Height: 5'7"

About Your Pregnancy 

Is this your first pregnancy:  No, I  had 3 before.

When did you find out you were pregnant: Around 6 weeks 

Was it planned: No, definitely a complete surprise...but a huge blessing!

What was your first reaction: See blog post "Mama's Due with Baby#2"

Who was with you when you found out: No one

Who was the first person you told: Hubby

How far along are you: 34 weeks 3 days

Symptoms: Extremely exhausted, occasional nausea, braxton hicks, sciatic nerve pain, leg cramps, hot flashes, food cravings, emotional, insomnia, HEARTBURN!!!

What is your due date: Oct 15th, 2013 

Do you know the sex of the baby: Yes!! It's a girl!!!!!!! 

Have you picked out names: Yes...her name is Natalie Joy Travaglini

Do you have stretch marks: None yet. 

Pre-pregnancy & Total weight gain so far: I was 175 lbs before I got pregnant with Natalie. Well...I never lost all my baby weight with John. I lost about 27 of it, but still had a little over 25 to go. (Yes...I gained like 55 ish-60 pounds with John). So far according to my last checkup 2 weeks ago I have gained 19 pounds this pregnancy with Natalie. That is huge compared to with John. By this time in the pregnancy with him I had gained about 45 or so.

Sleep: Soooo exhausted! I could sleep all day every day, but at night time I have complete and total insomnia! My usual bedtime is somewhere between 3-3:30 am

Movement: She is super active! More active than John was...especially at night!

Cravings: It's like so random these days, but mostly dark chocolate dove icecream bars, and carbonated beverages. 

Belly Button in or out?: Def in at the moment.
  
Best Moments this week: I took some beautiful cherished bump silhouette pics! We had a wonderful mini family getaway to the mountains. Finally have her nursery completed and will be posting a new blog on that soon! Hitting 34 weeks and realizing that I only have a little under 6 weeks to go until she's here....unless of course she decides to come late :) 

What are you looking forward to: My shower and celebrating her arrival. Holding her and seeing who she favors. Seeing John's reaction to her. Nursing her and doing the whole newborn thing again. Believe it or not...birthing (I believe its beautiful, real, raw and womanly no matter which way they have to come!) Being a mommy to two and expanding our family by two more feet :)

About the birth 

Home or hospital birth: Hospital 

Natural or medicated birth: Leaving it up in God's hands. Would love to do vaginal and unmedicated birth, but more than anything just want her safe and here already!

Who will be in the delivery room with you: Nick definitely, but possibly mom and mil.

Will you breastfeed: Want to really try longer this time and make it a goal of at least 3-6 months.

Do you think you'll need a c-section: Had one with John, and hoping to do a VBAC this time. My Doctor is very supportive and so is hubby. So leaving this one up to the Lord. It's all in His hands. I just want healthy baby and delivery.

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time: Of course!

Would you let someone videotape the birth: Um...hecks no!!

Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: Anxious...but soooo excited!

Mommy loves you Natalie Joy!