Cry It Out?!!

I wanted to write this blog post for the mother's out there that are or have gone through the same issues of their baby not sleeping through the night. Here is my honest take on that and my  experience with the infamous and dreaded "Cry It Out" method, which turned out to be a life saver! My son is almost 10 months old...he has came a long way with night wakings. I promise...it does get better. Let this be of some encouragement to you.

We were at our wit's end. Our almost 9 month old little boy...was still not sleeping through the night!!! I say still because out of every mother I have talked to (no lie like 20-25 mothers in a few months time) a total of one had said their baby was still having night wakings and not completely sleeping through the night. Of course....and I will admit...this made me a tad jealous for those of the mothers that are getting a full nights rest before their child's first birthday! I mean c'mon already...I want to get a good nights rest too!! Haven't had that in 9 months...and with baby #2 on the way I now more than ever need a good nights rest!

You may ask, "well...what all have we tried?" We have tried everything. I mean EVERYTHING to train him and get him to sleep through the night. We took every piece of advice we possibly could take...except the dreaded, "Cry It Out" method, which I was totally against and there was no how...way...shape or form, and over my dead body going to allow my son to do (but my thoughts have since changed...will share in a bit).

Here's just some of the things we tried:

With the advice from friends, family and our Pediatrician...we were told to feed him more solids frequently during the day, feed him rice cereal right before bed, put a little rice cereal in his bottle, give him a little bit of Tylenol right before bed (not that I am in to using over the counter meds to help him sleep, but in our defense he had been teething really bad that week), give him a warm bath right before bed, put him to bed earlier, put him to bed later, cut out his nap times, extend one of his nap times, pray about it etc.....I mean you name it we tried it...except this "Cry It Out" method.

When I first heard of this method...I thought it was completely inhumane. I mean who in the world would ever let their child just cry it out! My son makes the slightest whimper and I am running to him. I just can't bare to see him cry much less hear him...it literately breaks. my. heart. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that my heart toughened up...and we gave this method a go.

The story:

I was completely exhausted. I was running on fumes. Sleep deprived, 14 weeks pregnant and getting hardly but 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. My son usually is a pretty good about actually going to sleep. I can put him down in matter of  seconds ok so maybe minutes. He goes down usually between 9-9:30 pm. Sleeps for about 3 hours and then he's up....goes back to sleep for another 2 maybe 3 hours and then he's up...and this repeats until 7:30-8:00 am. when he is all wide eyed and bushy tailed...and I am dragging like a complete zombie to keep my eyes open while feeding him breakfast. So there was this one particular morning...that I had all I could take of not sleeping. I was exhausted beyond all comprehension. I was miserable...and I became someone that I did not like. I threw a huge tantrum much like my son when he gets put in his car seat. I was completely embarrassed in front of my husband...and my dog. Thankfully my son was sleeping during this time which he did not see mommy go psycho. I was at my wits end. I wanted my little man to sleep. I was so frustrated with all of our failed attempts...and even more, in all honesty, I wanted to slap the next mother who told me her baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old...or the moment they got home from the hospital. I know that sounds uber mean...and so not nice, but I am being completely transparent here, so please be gentle with my heart. It wasn't till later on that morning I had a conversation with another mother, who is also a close friend, on this issue. She called to talk about something else...and I just couldn't hold it together, and literately broke down crying on the phone to her. I was really broken over this issue. For any mother who knows what I am talking about...let me get an Amen!

 So any who, back to the story. I told her what had been going on for quite some time, all of our failed attempts and frustrations. She preceded to tell me some pretty really wise info and these words, "a happy, well rested mother is what is really best for you and John! He is use to you running in there and getting him every time. So think about what is really best for you and John" (It wasn't till later that night that her words made sense). She then told me how this "Cry It Out" method worked for her and she shared with me how she went about using that method on all three of her children, and because I admire this woman, mother and friend I decided....we needed to do this. Towards the end of the convo she said she would be praying for me that night. Praying that God would give me the strength to do what is best for me and John. I truly thank her and the Lord so much for her encouragement and support and for that conversation that day...because in turn the Lord was preparing me to receive a very important message that night...one that would allow me to learn so much about the heart of God, and being a mother.

So we decided to give it ago.

We put John down around his usual time...and within an hour he was awake. We waited 10 minutes before Nick went in (I just couldn't do it). Those were the longest 10 minutes of my life. For any first time mother I am sure you can relate...hearing your baby cry and saying "maamaa maamaa" stabs you right through the heart...so of course I was crying right along with my little man. I am so thankful for Nick...because he definitely is such a strong and level ground for me. I am such an emotional softy. I wanted to so badly to run in there and rescue John, sweep him up in my arms and tell him "it's ok...mommy's here now...mommy no go no where." But, Nick went in...and did such an amazing job. Kept his cool...and told John "it's night night time". He rubbed his back for a minute and then said "I love you", and walked out. Although, John began to wail louder and louder after this, and my heart kept breaking and breaking. After another 15 minutes passed...Nick went back in to reassure John. This repeated on for a good 45 minutes. I finally went and got down my on hands and knees in front of his door and just prayed that God would calm his spirit and put him back to rest...and then I began to whisper these little encouraging words so softly through that door... "C'mon buddy....you can do this. I know you can...I have faith in you!" And it wasn't until minutes of whispering those encouragements and pleading with the Lord to calm His spirit.....is when God spoke to me.

 He pretty much said this:

"There are times in your own life where I have to let you cry it out. It is what is best for you! I too desperately want to run in and sweep you up and tell you "It's ok...I am here now....I will not go no where." But, there are times in your life...where I am silent and I seem distant. Like I am no where to be found. But I am right there. Just like you are on the other side of that door right now. I have not left. I am still right here quietly, softly and tenderly encouraging you all the while training to get through a certain and particular season. Just like you are tonight with John. I will only give you so much, and only what you can handle, before I will run in and sweep you up and calm the storm, and so it is with John." 

Wow!! God spoke to me in the midst of that all! I didn't think something as letting your children Cry It Out was so important to Him. But we are so important to Him. That was one of the most humbling and beautiful experiences this far of being a mother. Because for the first time in my life...I got a glimpse first hand into the heart of God. He truly sees us as one of His children. Although, we will never ever fully grasp or comprehend in this life time how much He truly loves us! I love John so much and God's love for me and John is a gazillion times more than that?!?! To me that's unfathomable and unsearchable, because I can not fathom not loving John a gazillion times because as far as my human infinite mind can understand or grasp I do love him that much. But, oh how He loves us more! John 3:16, 1 John 3:16, 1 John 4: 9-12, Romans 5:8

So I know you are wondering....did this "Cry It Out" method work? I will say...that after that moment with God about 10 minutes later John did finally fall asleep, and he slept till 5:30 am that morning. Almost 7 hours! So yes...I was unbelievably proud of him and so thankful to God and yes...I do believe it worked! We tried this method several times that week and a couple the following. The nights that we did try it...John did sleep through the night. I will say though the "Cry It Out" method is hugely exhausting (both mentally and emotionally), and takes so much persistence and dedication and its such a disciplining method to do. There were nights where we will let him cry it out...but of  course continuously reassure him that everything is ok every 15 or so minutes until he eventually falls asleep...and then there were nights where its 2 am and I am a walking zombie...and I zombie my way in pick up my little man and put him in bed with us so we can all sleep....minus the CIO method. Once he does I place him back in the crib and usually he will sleep then till the morning. All in all...are babies are so use to us running in there and calming the storm every time. We have to with reassurance, love and a little bit of crying it out let them know its ok...and they can go to sleep on their own. It is what is best for them and for mommy!  So I can honestly and assuredly say that I am totally all for this method! It does work...and prob one of the hardest things I have done thus far as being a mother, but if I can do it....you can do it!

In closing...I will leave all you mother's who may be in my same situation with this...God instills in each of us parents the will, the care and the love to parent our children. Always trust that and trust your parental and motherly instincts. Allow God to help you along the way and listen for His instruction, will and guidance...after all He is the #1 parent of all time. Invite God into every corner of your mothering. He cares and every thing about you and your baby are important to Him! Listen for His voice, and look for moments while mothering and parenting your children where God will give you a glimpse into His heart....it is breathtakingly beautiful!!

....and if you are at your wit's end like we were...go ahead and give this method a try. What do you have to loose? Your already loosing sleep so can't loose that! That's for sure :)

My prayer is that you and your little one sleeps in heavenly peace tonight...


Blessings,

Corey T